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Review of Dr. Julia Trebing's 9/28/10 Parent Awareness presentation, Positive Parenting & Development of Emotional IQ |
Key Components to Positive Parenting
Over 140 parents gathered at the First Congregational Church of Darien on September 28th to hear Dr. Julia A. Trebing discuss, “Positive Parenting and Emotional Intelligence,” a program sponsored by the YWCA Parent Awareness Network and First Congregational Church of Darien. Feedback from attendees was overwhelmingly positive. Dr. Trebing gave the audience constructive suggestions and techniques, which included:
- Take a breath - When children do something to upset parents, she strongly advises staying clam and pausing before reacting. As children often model their parents when they are frustrated, this could both diffuse the situation and serve as an appropriate example for handling difficult situations.
- 4 Positives: 1 Negative - When criticism is necessary, Dr. Trebing advises using ten words or less. For every critical remark, it is important to give children four encouraging comments. Comments should not be empty praise but specific ‘noticing‘ details about their day. Instead of, "that's great," she recommends saying something more meaningful such as "I noticed that you have drawn a fancy car with green stripes and a red top."
- Don't tell children "you're so smart." Dr. Trebing encourages parents to use language that will help children internalize their own sense of accomplishment. So instead of saying, "good boy" she recommends, "I appreciate your cooperation."
- 5 Ways to Improve Family Life - To help eliminate some of the stresses that make life more complicated, she gives five tips for helping children.
1) De-clutter- Get rid of things you don't need.
2) Nutrition- Serve whole foods.
3) Scheduling- After a day with activities, give your kids a day of rest.
4) Discipline- Use positive parenting and help children become solution oriented. Ask children what they could do better next time.
5) Media – Limit the use of all media screens as much as possible and model good behavior.
Dr. Trebing of Creative Therapies in Stamford, CT is a Doctor of Psychology with post-doctoral study in Neurology. She is a Board Certified Expert of Diplomate status for the American Academy of Traumatic Stress and a Certified Professor and Supervisor for the international Examiners of Child Psychotherapy and Play Therapy.
For over twenty-five years Dr. Trebing has offered psychological care for children and their families, social skills groups and parenting programs. She has lectured nationwide on topics including True Discipline and The Ages and Stages of Child Development. Today she is well known and acclaimed for her unique and successful, short term, solution oriented therapy with children, which involves the parents and requires weekly home assignments.
The Parent Awareness Network is a YWCA program that promotes the healthy, positive development of Darien youth and families. Parent Awareness is also a member of Thriving Youth: Connected Community: TYCC is a catalyst for developmental asset building through meaningful relationship experiences, skills and opportunities that benefit all our children.
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